Selma Blair credits her childhood battle with alcoholism for saving her from personal traumas.
The “Cruel Intentions” star reveals in her upcoming memoir, “Mean Baby,” that she first got drunk at just 7 years old and eventually started turning to booze as a “comfort.”
“I don’t know if I would’ve survived childhood without alcoholism,” she told People in an interview published Wednesday. “That’s why it’s such a problem for a lot of people.
“It really is a huge comfort, a huge relief in the beginning. Maybe even the first few years for me because I did start really young with that as a comfort, as my coping mechanism.”
Blair, 49, elaborated on the “Today” show Wednesday when Savannah Guthrie asked how she was able to function on alcohol for so many years, “It was hard. But maybe it was made easier. Maybe I would have never survived without a drink.”
The actress writes in her book, which hits stores May 17, that being intoxicated for the first time was a “revelation.”
“I always liked Passover. As I took small sips of the Manischewitz I was allowed throughout the seder a light flooded through me, filling me up with the warmth of God,” she remembers in an except obtained by People. “But the year I was seven, when we basically had Manischewitz on tap and no one was paying attention to my consumption level, I put it together: the feeling was not God but fermentation.
“I thought ‘Well this is a huge disappointment, but since it turns out I can get the warmth of the Lord from a bottle, thank God there’s one right here.’ I got drunk that night. Very drunk. Eventually, I was put in my sister Katie’s bed with her. In the morning, I didn’t remember how I’d gotten there.”
Blair shares that when she first started drinking alcohol, she did not get drunk and would just take “quick sips whenever [her] anxiety would alight.”
“I usually barely even got tipsy. I became an expert alcoholic, adept at hiding my secret,” she writes.
Her alcoholism took a turn for the worse when she reached her 20s, and she details being raped during a spring break trip in college after a day of binge-drinking.
“I don’t know if both of them raped me. One of them definitely did,” she recalls. “I made myself small and quiet and waited for it to be over. I wish I could say what happened to me that night was an anomaly, but it wasn’t. I have been raped, multiple times, because I was too drunk to say the words ‘Please. Stop.’ Only that one time was violent. I came out of each event quiet and ashamed.”
Blair says she only told her therapist about her rapes but decided to include the stories in her memoir because it was an important part of the healing process.
“Writing that stopped me dead in my tracks,” she told People. “My sense of trauma was bigger than I knew. I did not realize that assault was so central in my life. I had so much shame and blame. I’m grateful I felt safe enough to put it on the page. And then can work on it with a therapist and with other writing, and really relieve that burden of shame on myself.”
Blair became sober in 2016 and chose to share her story to help others who have struggled with addiction.
“I wrote the book for my son [Arthur, 10, with ex Jason Bleick] … and for people trying to find the deepest hole to crawl into until the pain passes,” she told the mag.
As for how she’s doing these days, she added, “I’m in a good place. I cannot believe all this happened in my life, and I’m still here and I’m OK.”
XXXTentacion fans are getting their first look at a documentary about the late rapper. Billboard exclusively unveiled the trailer for Hulu’s “Look At Me: XXXTENTACION” documentary film.
Xxx was killed in a botched robbery incident back in 2018.
The acclaimed director of the film, Sabaah Folayan told Billboard, “He didn’t necessarily win his battle before we lost him, but he gave us a space to talk about mental health and his internal struggle.”
“Look At Me: XXXTENTACION” explores how Florida teenager, Jahseh Onfroy became SoundCloud rapper XXXTentacion, one of the most streamed artists on the planet.
Through frank commentary from family, friends, and unseen archival footage, the director offers a sensitive portrayal of an artist whose acts of violence, raw musical talent and open struggles with mental health left an indelible mark on his generation before his death at the age of 20.
Award-winning director, Folayan is a basketball player, and activist from South Central Los Angeles. Her critically acclaimed first film, Whose Street? is a telling story of the killing of Michael Brown and the Ferguson uprising.
Her upcoming project and highly anticipated documentary about the gone too soon rapper, XXXTentacion releases on Hulu on May 26.
Watch the full trailer below. Share your thoughts on social media.
Biggie’s golden anniversary was this past Saturday. The Notorious B.I.G., who would have turned 50-years-old on May 21, received a number of tributes in New York City.
On Friday, there was a ceremony in partnership with Bad Boy/Atlantic and Rhino Records at the Empire State Building with family members, friends and collaborators of the legendary rapper, Christopher Wallace.
While Brooklyn’s Barclays Center featured a video montage of him on the mega oculus display above the venue’s entrance.
Doja Cat needs surgery on her tonsils. The “Get Into It (Yuh)” singer took to Twitter to say a doctor had to cut into her left tonsil because she had an abscess in it.
In a follow-up post, she said her tonsils got infected before the Billboard Music Awards earlier this month and she was taking medication for it, but she forgot and drank wine and vaped “all day long.”
She said she’s now quitting the vape for a while. Doja Cat added she “might have bad news for her fans.”
Today she confirmed in another tweet that she has to have surgery on her tonsils asap and her recovery will cause her to cancel several shows including her tour with The Weeknd.
“I wanted you to hear it first. Unfortunately I have to have surgery on my tonsils asap. The surgery is routine but the recovery is going to take a while due to swelling. That means I have to cancel my festival run this summer as well as The Weeknd Tour. I feel horrible about this but can’t wait for this to heal and get back to making music and create an experience for y’all.”