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Let the Green M&M Be Daddy’s Nasty Little Slut

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The recent push to rebrand corporate logos to be more inclusive has, for the most part, been a good thing. Making Barbie more body-positive? Great. Renaming Aunt Jemima syrup? About damn time. Yet in brands’ fervent quest to capture youth audiences and capture the woke zeitgeist, they may be going just a little bit too far. Case in point: the slut-shaming of the green M&M.

Essentially, this is what happened: the CEO of Mars Wrigley, the company that makes M&Ms, announced today that it would be revamping the characters to make them more “current” and “representative of our consumer” (presumably, people united by their willingness to ignore the fact that they’re eating shittier Reese’s Pieces). How do they plan on doing this, you ask? By replacing the characters’ footwear.

This distinction is pretty negligible for the male characters (CNN goes into detail about the changes, but frankly they are men, and thus I don’t really care). For the female characters, however, the changes are apparent and formidable. The brown M&M’s heels have been lowered to a more sensible Alexis Neiers-esque kitten heel, while the green M&M’s signature go-go boots have been swapped out for non-descript white sneakers, the kind that Melanie Griffith’s character in Working Girl changes into on the subway to signal she’s a Girlboss with a head for business and a bod for sin. Let the river run, ladies! (Mars Wrigley did not immediately return a request for comment.)

For those familiar with the iconography of the green M&M, this change is nothing more than tectonic. I imagine it is similar to how the people of Wittenberg must have felt watching Martin Luther nail his 95 Theses of the Protestant Reformation to the church door. But it is also a major error on Mars Wrigley’s part, because the green M&M being a dirty slut, as signified by her iconic white go-go boots, is precisely what has engendered her a devoted fan base, particularly among similarly libidinous women and gay men who have embraced the character. Consider, for instance, this ad where she does erotic ASMR for no reason other than to give the male M&Ms a massive boner, then feigns ignorance at the impact her performance has. Can we, or should we, attempt to put a cap on such virulent, untrammeled female sexuality? Can you stop the wind from blowing? Can you prevent a dog from vomiting after eating too much cheese? Can you keep Twitter libs from being self-righteous about adhering to COVID protocols? No, you cannot.

The green M&M has spent decades building her brand as a horny, sexy bitch, and for what? For her creators to give her Larry David footwear in the name of feminism? For Mars Wrigley to give themselves pats on the back and big fat fucking raises at the next corporate retreat in Palo Alto? Guess what: the green M&M is a feminist, and she’s a dirty slut. We are real, and we exist, and we refuse to tolerate this disgusting attempt at erasure. We are given so little, and we have tolerated so much. Let the green M&M keep her go-go boots. Let her get blackout and suck dick in the bathroom at Acme on a Wednesday. This is what we want. This is what we deserve. This is what she deserves

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Katherine Schwarzenegger Gives Birth, Welcomes Baby No. 2 With Chris Pratt

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Chris Pratt & Katherine Schwarzenegger Expecting Baby No. 2

Everything is awesome because Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger have welcomed another child together.

The adorable newborn, named Eloise Christina Schwarzenegger Pratt, was born on May 21, joining big sister Lyla Maria21 months. “We are so excited to announce the birth of our second daughter,” the duo wrote on Instagram May 22. “Mama and baby are doing well. We feel beyond blessed and grateful. Love, Katherine and Chris.” Chris also co-parents his son Jack, 9, with ex Anna Faris.  

The Guardians of the Galaxy actor, 42, and best-selling author, 32, confirmed that they were expecting their second child together in December 2021. On the same day, Katherine was photographed with a baby bump while out and about in Los Angeles.   

While they have both shared the most un-bear-ably adorable photos of Lyla and Jack on their respective Instagram accounts in the past, the couple have tried to protect their little ones by not publicly showing their faces online. 

“I think one of the greatest gifts that my parents ever gave me and my siblings is the gift of privacy and having a really normal upbringing,” Katherine, the daughter of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, told Today in March 2021, “or as normal of an upbringing as possible.”

Instagram

She continued, “We had a really normal and magical childhood, and we were allowed to kind of be our own people and have our own identity and kind of choose to step into whatever form of being public we wanted to when we felt comfortable. That was such an incredible gift to have given us kids.” 

But the family’s newest addition might not remain the youngest child—at least, if Chris has anything to say about it. In July 2021, the Tomorrow War star told E! News’ Daily Pop that “I would love to have more [children], as many as the man upstairs will provide.”  

He added, “We’ll do it. I’ll probably have to talk to Katherine about that but my plan is, let’s go.” 

While reflecting on starting a family with Katherine, Chris shared that there is one thing that hasn’t changed: the amount of love he has for his kids.  

“The high common denominator is just kind of this unquenchable desire to want to be close to them, be next to them, to protect them and love them,” he shared. “It’s the best.” 

Watch Daily Pop weekdays at 11 a.m., only on E!.

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Katherine Schwarzenegger welcomes second baby with Chris Pratt, his third

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May 22, 2022 | 9:38pm

Katherine Schwarzenegger gave birth to her and Chris Pratt’s second child together, the actor’s third, on Saturday.

“We are so excited to announce the birth of our second daughter, Eloise Christina Schwarzenegger Pratt,” Pratt, 42, announced on Instagram on Sunday.

“Mama and baby are doing well. We feel beyond blessed and grateful. Love, Katherine and Chris.”

News broke in December 2021 that the “Gift of Forgiveness” author, 32, was pregnant with baby No. 2.

While the then-expectant star stepped out with her baby bump on display that same month, she did not publicly address her pregnancy until March.

“Preggo mamas tell me if you, too, can only drink ice cold water,” Arnold Schwarzenegger’s daughter captioned an Instagram video at the time.

Katherine was similarly private about her pregnancy with 1-year-old daughter Lyla.

Since the little one’s arrival in August 2020, the “Maverick and Me” author and Pratt have kept Lyla’s face off social media.

Katherine explained this decision to Hoda Kotb during a March 2021 “Today” show appearance, saying, “I didn’t grow up with social media being a thing at all. … I feel like we share so much in today’s world.”

Katherine Schwarzenegger
The author’s pregnancy news broke in December 2021.
katherineschwarzenegger/Instagra

The Los Angeles native added, “I think one of the greatest gifts that my parents ever gave me and my siblings is the gift of privacy and having a really normal upbringing, or as normal of an upbringing as possible.

“We had a really normal and magical childhood, and we were allowed to kind of be our own people and have our own identity and kind of choose to step into whatever form of being public we wanted to when we felt comfortable.”

Katherine called the experience an “incredible” gift from Arnold, 74, and her mom, Maria Shriver.

A selfie of Chris Pratt, Katherine Schwarzenegger and daughter Lyla on a beach.
The couple’s daughter Lyla arrived in August 2020.
katherineschwarzenegger/Instagra

Pratt and his ex-wife, Anna Faris, on the other hand, have not hidden their 9-year-old son, Jack, from their social media followers.

Want more celebrity and pop culture news?

Start your day with Page Six Daily.

The former couple, who were married from 2009 to 2018, currently co-parent Jack.

“Chris and I work really hard,” Faris, 45, told “Entertainment Tonight” in January 2019. “That is sort of the long-game idea and making sure Jack is really happy, which makes us really happy.”

The “Jurassic World” star moved on with Katherine in 2018, and they wed in June of the following year.

The “Rock What You’ve Got” author is a “wonderful” stepparent, Pratt told his Instagram followers in a birthday tribute.

“I simply can’t imagine how lost I’d be without you,” the “Parks and Recreation” alum gushed via Instagram in December 2021.

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Rudy Takes Break From Parade to Yell at Stranger on the Street

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Not content with limiting his wild and outrageous political views to his podcast, Rudy Giuliani got into a screaming match with an unidentified heckler Sunday while marching in a parade.

Giuliani was marching in New York City’s Celebrate Israel Parade behind Mayor Eric Adams on Sunday when an onlooker began to shout at him. Giuliani then stepped to the side to yell back. The beginning of the comments are difficult to discern — it seems like they’re shouting about crime statistics — but Giuliani eventually barks, “Me! I reduced crime, you jackass!”

As the other man continued yelling, Giuliani screamed back, “You are a brainwashed asshole. I am a class act! … You are probably as demented as Biden!” The exchange can be seen in a video posted to Twitter by The Forward’s senior political reporter, Jacob Kornbluh. Shortly after the shouting ended, Giuliani returned to marching in the parade, smiling and waving an Israel flag.

Marching behind Mayor Adams is @RudyGiuliani who gets into a shouting match with a Democrat.

“You are a jackass… You are a brainwashed asshole… you are probably as demented as Biden,” Giuliani told the guy

Watch the video 👇 pic.twitter.com/qjlTzQSP8j

— Jacob Kornbluh (@jacobkornbluh) May 22, 2022

The president’s former personal lawyer, who spearheaded Trump’s efforts in court to overturn the 2020 election results, is fresh off his Friday testimony to the Jan. 6 committee. According to sources who spoke with CNN, Giuliani met with the committee for more than nine hours. Giuliani has also been under federal investigation as authorities look into his Ukraine activities and whether he broke lobbying laws as Trump’s attorney.

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