January 13, 2022 | 10:34am
At least her ego isn’t bruised.
Madonna showed off a massive black and blue mark on her thigh while posing for a series of sexy pics shared to Instagram on Wednesday.
“Life has beaten me up! Do you think I give a F–k,” the singer, 63, wrote in the caption, adding, “Only the Devil Cares…. HOMEWEAR ………….. @versace.”
The pics reveal a giant bruise spanning the entire side of Madonna’s upper thigh. The “Material Girl” songstress highlighted the injury even more by rolling down her thigh-high stockings so fans could get a better look.
Several of Madonna’s 17 million followers voiced their concern for the Queen of Pop, taking to the comments section of her post to ask her if she was OK.
“What happened?? 😢,” one person wrote.
“What happened on your leg dear ???? 🙌🙌🙌,” a second person inquired.
“health to your leg. ❤️,” another commented.
Others speculated that Madonna could have gotten the bruise from an intense workout.
”Are you okay? Who is going hard on you at the gym? I know you are doing some crazy routines! I love you ! Energyyyyyy @madonna,” one fan wrote, with another adding, “We are all beaten by life but the important thing is to get up and you know how to do this very well!😍.”
Madonna did not reveal what caused the giant bruise.
Her rep did not immediately respond to Page Six’s request for comment.
The “Vogue” singer posted other risqué photos for the shoot, including one where she sat on a bidet while rocking a Versace jacket.
In another photo, she spread her legs to show off her black underwear under her dress, and she also shared an image of her lacy bra where her chest was draped in jewelry.
Let the Green M&M Be Daddy’s Nasty Little Slut
The recent push to rebrand corporate logos to be more inclusive has, for the most part, been a good thing. Making Barbie more body-positive? Great. Renaming Aunt Jemima syrup? About damn time. Yet in brands’ fervent quest to capture youth audiences and capture the woke zeitgeist, they may be going just a little bit too far. Case in point: the slut-shaming of the green M&M.
Essentially, this is what happened: the CEO of Mars Wrigley, the company that makes M&Ms, announced today that it would be revamping the characters to make them more “current” and “representative of our consumer” (presumably, people united by their willingness to ignore the fact that they’re eating shittier Reese’s Pieces). How do they plan on doing this, you ask? By replacing the characters’ footwear.
This distinction is pretty negligible for the male characters (CNN goes into detail about the changes, but frankly they are men, and thus I don’t really care). For the female characters, however, the changes are apparent and formidable. The brown M&M’s heels have been lowered to a more sensible Alexis Neiers-esque kitten heel, while the green M&M’s signature go-go boots have been swapped out for non-descript white sneakers, the kind that Melanie Griffith’s character in Working Girl changes into on the subway to signal she’s a Girlboss with a head for business and a bod for sin. Let the river run, ladies! (Mars Wrigley did not immediately return a request for comment.)
For those familiar with the iconography of the green M&M, this change is nothing more than tectonic. I imagine it is similar to how the people of Wittenberg must have felt watching Martin Luther nail his 95 Theses of the Protestant Reformation to the church door. But it is also a major error on Mars Wrigley’s part, because the green M&M being a dirty slut, as signified by her iconic white go-go boots, is precisely what has engendered her a devoted fan base, particularly among similarly libidinous women and gay men who have embraced the character. Consider, for instance, this ad where she does erotic ASMR for no reason other than to give the male M&Ms a massive boner, then feigns ignorance at the impact her performance has. Can we, or should we, attempt to put a cap on such virulent, untrammeled female sexuality? Can you stop the wind from blowing? Can you prevent a dog from vomiting after eating too much cheese? Can you keep Twitter libs from being self-righteous about adhering to COVID protocols? No, you cannot.
The green M&M has spent decades building her brand as a horny, sexy bitch, and for what? For her creators to give her Larry David footwear in the name of feminism? For Mars Wrigley to give themselves pats on the back and big fat fucking raises at the next corporate retreat in Palo Alto? Guess what: the green M&M is a feminist, and she’s a dirty slut. We are real, and we exist, and we refuse to tolerate this disgusting attempt at erasure. We are given so little, and we have tolerated so much. Let the green M&M keep her go-go boots. Let her get blackout and suck dick in the bathroom at Acme on a Wednesday. This is what we want. This is what we deserve. This is what she deserves.
Foo Fighters, Stevie Nicks, the Who Lead 2022 New Orleans Jazz Fest
Foo Fighters, Stevie Nicks, the Who, and Willie Nelson are among the headliners who will perform at this year’s New Orleans Jazz Fest, which — after two years of Covid-canceled festivals — returns to the Big Easy from April 29 to May 8.
The Black Crowes, Luke Combs, Jimmy Buffett, Lionel Richie, and Erykah Badu are also among the top-billed talent, with Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit, Elvis Costello and the Imposters, Death Cab for Cutie, Norah Jones, Randy Newman, the Avett Brothers, Dawn Richard, Kool & the Gang, and dozens of New Orleans legends — from the Preservation Hall Jazz Band and the Dirty Dozen Brass Band to Big Freedia and Dumpstaphunk — on the deep lineup.
— New Orleans JazzFest (@jazzfest) January 20, 2022
This year’s lineup also includes Ziggy Marley performing the music of his father Bob Marley, a “Newport All-Stars” tribute to that fest’s late founder George Wein, Cee Lo Green leading a James Brown tribute, plus sets from Lukas Nelson and Promise of the Real, Asleep at the Wheel, Melissa Etheridge, Buddy Guy, Billy Strings, Ludacris, and more.
Nicks, Foo Fighters, and the Who were all among the headliners for the 2020 Jazz Fest that was canceled by the first wave of the Covid-19 pandemic; the 2021 Jazz Fest — which featured Foo Fighters alongside the Rolling Stones, the Beach Boys, and Dead & Company — was scheduled for the next spring, but that too was postponed to the fall and ultimately canceled due to the Delta variant.
How John Mayer Helped Return Bob Saget’s Body to California After His Death
Celebrities React to Bob Saget’s Death
On Jan. 9, the Full House star died in his hotel room in Orlando, Fla., while on his stand-up comedy tour. Saget’s funeral was held five days later in Los Angeles with many of his famous friends in attendance. He was 65.
But Mayer didn’t just fund the flight. Joined by comedian Jeff Ross, the singer also retrieved Saget’s car, which was parked at Los Angeles International Airport. While on their drive home, the pair remembered their “rock star” friend in a poignant Instagram Live.
While speaking about Saget and the personal impact he had on Mayer’s life, the singer quickly became emotional.
“I really loved the guy,” he said. “He was a comic before he was anything else. You know, I’ve heard from a thousand comics in the last couple days and he loved making people happy. It didn’t matter who you were. It didn’t matter your stature, your status. Bob was a rock star without an assistant. Bob was a single dad for a long time. He raised three amazing, amazing people and he somehow took his TV family and also made them his real family, which is unheard of.”
He added, “I’ve just never known a human being on this earth who could give that much love individually and completely to that many people in a way that made each person feel like he was a main character in their life and they were a main character in his life.”
Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images
“I’ve met many people in my life, but when Bob crossed my path, I just held onto him, and I wasn’t letting go. I just knew he was the realest thing,” he wrote in part. “I would like you to know that the man you hope was as lovely as you think was way beyond what you can ever imagine. He was impossibly kind. And generous. And loving. And I have more to say so please let me do like one more of these, okay? It’s just the way it’s gonna be.”
He concluded the post by writing, “I love you, Bob. I will never forget you. I will visit you often in my memories, and I hope I get to see you in my dreams. I will tell my kids about you. I’m taking you with me forever.”
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