Guess Who This
1/12/2022 12:01 AM PT
Before this cute kid was taking the modeling world by storm, she was just another sweet smiling girl posing for her school picture in front of a Bob Ross-esque mural in Brooklyn, New York.
This grinning gal is a multi-faceted star who has been showing off her numerous talents to the world for almost a decade. You may recognize her from her gorgeous model moments in magazines like Essence and Vogue.
However, her real passion is music … she’s been making hip-hop beats, producing songs, and collaborating with some of the most popular artists today — such as Schoolboy Q and Miguel.
Let the Green M&M Be Daddy’s Nasty Little Slut
The recent push to rebrand corporate logos to be more inclusive has, for the most part, been a good thing. Making Barbie more body-positive? Great. Renaming Aunt Jemima syrup? About damn time. Yet in brands’ fervent quest to capture youth audiences and capture the woke zeitgeist, they may be going just a little bit too far. Case in point: the slut-shaming of the green M&M.
Essentially, this is what happened: the CEO of Mars Wrigley, the company that makes M&Ms, announced today that it would be revamping the characters to make them more “current” and “representative of our consumer” (presumably, people united by their willingness to ignore the fact that they’re eating shittier Reese’s Pieces). How do they plan on doing this, you ask? By replacing the characters’ footwear.
This distinction is pretty negligible for the male characters (CNN goes into detail about the changes, but frankly they are men, and thus I don’t really care). For the female characters, however, the changes are apparent and formidable. The brown M&M’s heels have been lowered to a more sensible Alexis Neiers-esque kitten heel, while the green M&M’s signature go-go boots have been swapped out for non-descript white sneakers, the kind that Melanie Griffith’s character in Working Girl changes into on the subway to signal she’s a Girlboss with a head for business and a bod for sin. Let the river run, ladies! (Mars Wrigley did not immediately return a request for comment.)
For those familiar with the iconography of the green M&M, this change is nothing more than tectonic. I imagine it is similar to how the people of Wittenberg must have felt watching Martin Luther nail his 95 Theses of the Protestant Reformation to the church door. But it is also a major error on Mars Wrigley’s part, because the green M&M being a dirty slut, as signified by her iconic white go-go boots, is precisely what has engendered her a devoted fan base, particularly among similarly libidinous women and gay men who have embraced the character. Consider, for instance, this ad where she does erotic ASMR for no reason other than to give the male M&Ms a massive boner, then feigns ignorance at the impact her performance has. Can we, or should we, attempt to put a cap on such virulent, untrammeled female sexuality? Can you stop the wind from blowing? Can you prevent a dog from vomiting after eating too much cheese? Can you keep Twitter libs from being self-righteous about adhering to COVID protocols? No, you cannot.
The green M&M has spent decades building her brand as a horny, sexy bitch, and for what? For her creators to give her Larry David footwear in the name of feminism? For Mars Wrigley to give themselves pats on the back and big fat fucking raises at the next corporate retreat in Palo Alto? Guess what: the green M&M is a feminist, and she’s a dirty slut. We are real, and we exist, and we refuse to tolerate this disgusting attempt at erasure. We are given so little, and we have tolerated so much. Let the green M&M keep her go-go boots. Let her get blackout and suck dick in the bathroom at Acme on a Wednesday. This is what we want. This is what we deserve. This is what she deserves.
Foo Fighters, Stevie Nicks, the Who Lead 2022 New Orleans Jazz Fest
Foo Fighters, Stevie Nicks, the Who, and Willie Nelson are among the headliners who will perform at this year’s New Orleans Jazz Fest, which — after two years of Covid-canceled festivals — returns to the Big Easy from April 29 to May 8.
The Black Crowes, Luke Combs, Jimmy Buffett, Lionel Richie, and Erykah Badu are also among the top-billed talent, with Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit, Elvis Costello and the Imposters, Death Cab for Cutie, Norah Jones, Randy Newman, the Avett Brothers, Dawn Richard, Kool & the Gang, and dozens of New Orleans legends — from the Preservation Hall Jazz Band and the Dirty Dozen Brass Band to Big Freedia and Dumpstaphunk — on the deep lineup.
— New Orleans JazzFest (@jazzfest) January 20, 2022
This year’s lineup also includes Ziggy Marley performing the music of his father Bob Marley, a “Newport All-Stars” tribute to that fest’s late founder George Wein, Cee Lo Green leading a James Brown tribute, plus sets from Lukas Nelson and Promise of the Real, Asleep at the Wheel, Melissa Etheridge, Buddy Guy, Billy Strings, Ludacris, and more.
Nicks, Foo Fighters, and the Who were all among the headliners for the 2020 Jazz Fest that was canceled by the first wave of the Covid-19 pandemic; the 2021 Jazz Fest — which featured Foo Fighters alongside the Rolling Stones, the Beach Boys, and Dead & Company — was scheduled for the next spring, but that too was postponed to the fall and ultimately canceled due to the Delta variant.
Kid Cudi, A$AP Rocky, and Playboi Carti Headline Return of the Smoker’s Club Fest
A new festival is on the way for rap lovers. On Thursday, the Smoker’s Club announced the return of its hip-hop festival with Kid Cudi, A$AP Rocky, and Playboi Carti as the April 30 musical event’s headliners.
The Smoker’s Club Fest, set to be hosted at the Glen Helen Amphitheater in San Bernardino, will also see the likes of Schoolboy Q, Wiz Khalifa, 2 Chainz, Ferg, Joey Bada$$, Flatbush Zombies, Dom Kennedy, Yung Lean, Lupe Fiasco, Rico Nasty, and Wale, among others.
— The Smokers Club (@TheSmokersClub) January 20, 2022
“WE’RE BACK,” the music festival wrote alongside its tour poster and stacked lineup. Tickets for the festival go on sale Monday, Jan. 24, and start at $223, while VIP entry for the music event costs $409. The event will be hosted by the Smoker’s Club founder Shiest Bubz.
The 2021 iteration sees the return of many of the same artists featured on the 2018 lineup, which saw Khalifa, Cudi, and Schoolboy Q as headliners. Hosted on April 28 and 29 in Long Beach that year, the lineup featured artists such as Isaiah Rashad, Ty Dolla $ign, Dom Kennedy, Lil Skies, and the late Mac Miller.
During Rolling Loud last December, Cudi teased a new album in the works. “I have Entergalactic coming in the summer, and I wanna drop another album before that,” he told the crowd. “I got some tasty surprises and I’m really excited about all this new shit, this new music, to give to you guys.”
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